Oscar
Night 2004
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It's hollywood... dadadadadada de de dum. Afternoon Nap ... Check So it's Oscar night 2004. The 76th awards and we're back to glitz and glamour following the rather drab wartime 75th. Again I'll be typing occasional comments and giving an indication of my expectations etc.. for no reason other than keeping myself awake during the 4 hour backslapathon. Oh, and Billy Crystal is back as compere this year, which is always great for the entertainment stakes... although Steve Martin gave him a run for his money last year... As for my opinions/predictions.... it's not an easy year to call any of the major awards. Everyone thinks that Lord Of The Rings : The Return Of The King is a shoe in for all it's nominated categories... but we can't be that sure... and of course it has no nominations in the wide open acting categories. THE PREDICTIONS. BEST ACTOR Until moderately recently I would have discounted Johnny Depp for the Oscar, pruely due to it's comedic base. The academy never recognise this kind of role... however Mr Depp won the recent "Actors Guild" best actor award earlier this week and that's a fair indication of the Oscar. Bill Murray on the other hand is my choice for this, his peformance in Lost In Translation is perfectly judged and so real that you can almost forget this is a scripted piece... He is assisted by both his co-star and fabulous writing and direction from Sopia Coppola... but more on that later. Other noms include, Ben Kingsley... never write this man off... drab film great performance... Jude Law... Cold Mountain, Shmountain... Dull Dull Dull... and Sean Penn... Oooh what a gritty peformance. Mike's Prediction BEST ACTRESS Some cracking actresses in this category, and the youngest ever nominated actress in the shape of Keisha Castle-Hughes. Who do I think will win? Charlize Theron... no question. CITY OF GOD Peter Wier... won the Bafta... City of God... Critical Darling, "Oooh it's foreign"... Mystic River, "GRITTY".... My choices? Lord Of The Rings... Peter Jackson's Masterpiece and Lost In Translation.. Sopia Coppola's Masterpiece. I'd be quite happy if either Mr Jackson or Ms Godfather's Daughter picked up this award. For sheer ACHIEVEMENT The Lord Of The Rings should pick this up. BEST PICTURE Lord Of The Rings.... Pure and Simple... not Return Of The King... oh no... the award should go to Return Of The King to recognise the overall epic that is The Lord Of The Rings...... But don't hold your breath... This is another award that could upset the applecart. OTHERS
But we'll see.... Mr Ross is joined by Rob Brydon of Marion and Geoff fame. Ronni Ancona and Alistar McGowan are also there. It's stuck me that the impression Mr McGowan does of Richard, of Richard and Judy, is only that good because he's actually exactly the same as Richard. Say what you want about Ant and Dec... at least they don't work for NBC.. These presenters are rubbish. Scarlett Johannsen is probably the strangest girl in the world. Ben Stiller looking cooler than anyone and setting up a great sketch with Owen Wilson and the red carpet presenter. "You Fell Asleep During Whale Rider". "Examine your own heart". Classic. Jude Law, looking like a villian from a Sherlock Holmes novel. "Oh Absolutely". Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas. "Me and My Husband"... Boy is that one hell of a business arrangement they have. Bill Murray. "What are you wearing Bill?"... "Boxers". And now the presenter is checking out Bill's crotch. These red carpet presenters really take the cake... how on earth you can make a career out of bad manners and stupid remarks. Renee Zellwegger just swore quietly and Nicole Kidman giggled at it... I'm telling you... this is well worth the late night so far.... ahem. Bring on Billy and his inevitable Movie Pastiche... Here's betting he's dressed as Gollum for a part of his intro.. got to happen. He's the man. Here we go.. Billy, Billy, Billy.... Sparkling Crystal... told you he'd dress as Gollum. What a guy. Mrs Douglas is to present Supporting Actor... Tim Robbins. He deserved this for ordering a meatball sub in the example clip... 1 to Mystic River. Good speech, nice sentiment. And we'll be back in 5 mins. Only 3 hours and 45 left... Ian Mckellen gives the case for LOTR... fingers crossed. Ah it's Lara Croft. To Present Art Direction. First LOTR nominated category...... and the award goes to..... LOTR.... great start and well deserved. Ah men with beards to collect the statuettes. "I'd Like to thank the real Wizard who led us... Peter Jackson...". Animated Feature... Robin Williams... He's had more Red Bull than I have... Nemo will get this without doubt..... and it has... Boy, that DVD's going to sell well. "My Wife... I wrote it to you in a note and now I can say it in front of a billion people... I love you"..... Cue everyone in the audience saying "AWWWWWW". Nurses at Warrington hospital have emailled Mr Ross and co to comment on Alistair McGowan's dress sense... trivia there for you. Back to the show and Renee Zellwegger again... Costume Design.... LOTR.... Quite right. Another rubbish speech though. Nicolas Cage.... WOOOOO! Introducing Master and Commander as a Best Film nomination. Actress in a supporting role.... Zellweger... For having the worst hat I think. She's apparently overwhelmed. AND.... managed to thank Nicole Kidman and then Tom Cruise in the next breath. Boy oh Boy.... Nicole didn't look impressed. HANKS! Tribute to Bob Hope... Very nice. Master of the Oscars 18 times. Starsky and Hutch... HUZZAH.... and the most pretentious short features in the world. Two Soldiers wins... I'll not pretend I know anything about this. Animated short will go to PIXAR.... maybe not then. "Harvie Krumpet"... aussie animation at the Oscars. And played off to the LOTR music?? Song from Cold Mountain.... Here comes Sting. He appears to be playing a model boat. Maybe that's a tribute to Master and Commander. That said, no instrument could be stranger than the man playing it. It's 2:40am. 2nd Song... also from Cold Mountain.... Elvis Costello... bring it on. Elvis is playing his guitar upside down... what a guy........... This is really good.. Could be a winner. Here comes Annie Lennox with my pick. Visual Effects Nominations... It's.... LOTR! Spods collecting awards! Jim Carrey... Boy oh Boy... is he no longer funny. He's shaved his head which makes him look terrifying. A special award to Blake Edwards.... An amazing amount of work on screen, some of the funniest classic comedy... I'm adding to my online rental list as we type. A briliant acceptance, "Don't Touch My Oscar!"... Why don't I own the Pink Panther on DVD? Jonathon Ross is saying that this is the best Oscars in a long time and I'm inclined to agree. Right from the opening, to the acceptance speeches so far.... even the awards are going the right ways so far.... mostly. Bill Murray gives the case for Lost In Translation... Fantastic Film... "Slower... More Intensity". And here come's Scarlett Johannsen. Wearing. Too. Much. Makeup. Presenting, Strangely enough... the award for makeup. This could go to Pirates.... But doesn't...... another award for LOTR:ROTK... Richard Taylor is going to have to charter a plane to carry his Oscars home. BULLOCK! and Travola... sound editing. Cannon fire is in this year. Another LOTR.... looks like that landslide they predicted is well on it's way... Fingers crossed for direction, I think Best Film is a bit of a given now. New Zealand!... Gotta love em. And Sound Editing... No LOTR in this one.... So Master and Commander takes it. People in the audience are looking really fed up now... we'll get another major award soon to offset all these unknown faces collecting awards. Billy "It's official, there's no-one left in New Zealand to thank." Julia, Hubba Hubba, Roberts... Paying tribute to Katherine Hepburn. Classy lady. Another break... LOTR is 5 for 5 at the moment. 6 more awards that it can get... let's keep going ... it's 03:36am Opra Winfrey.... is she involved with film? Introducing Mystic River as a best film nominee. I think Opra's just a film fan... surely by this reckoning I could present an award next year. Ah documentary short subject... a look at briefs : underwear through the ages... sorry. Chernobyl Heart... a film about Chernobyl victims... first generation and otherwise. Sounds worthwhile and they've obviously lent towards honouring the subject matter... and they haven't played her off altough the speech went on for a while... very good of them. The chap who's won best feature length documentary... is nuts..... and makes the first political speech of the evening.... I think.... it involved rabbit holes. The president of the academy... who appears to be the most nervous man in the building... stumbling over words and breathing in all the wrong places... he is paying tribute to Gregory Peck now and has evened out as his words start to come naturally. The montage of thos who passed away during the last year holds some surprises... it's incredible that some of these people have died this year and a damn shame. Here come orginal score and editing in the next section.... Sting and Phil Collins... Best Orginal Score... Howard Shore for LOTR... Finally. 3 scores... I actually feel that the previous 2 were stronger but it's an incredible achievement overall. Rousing stuff. BROSNAN! and Jullianne Moore. Film Editing... Another possible LOTR... and another LOTR win.... although it's just won best score I'm betting that people are getting sick of the main theme that they're playing whenever it wins an award. Good editor... rubbish public speaker, but I suppose you can't have everything. 7 for 7. Billy "People are moving to New Zealand just to be thanked" Jamie Lee Curtis, and the twins. Introducing the song from "A Mighty Wind". "A Kiss At The End Of The Rainbow". It's 04:05 Eugene Levy... Hurrah! The theme from The Triplets Of Bellville" Next... This is nuts but great. It's like stepping inside the film.... which is quite an unsettling thought. Still bluesy jazz at The Oscars is no bad thing. Another break... so back to the BBC crew. More homosexuality and a Ronnie Corbett impression. Can I have my licence fee back? Best Song next.. Jack Black and Will Ferrell will present.. And give us a song of their own.. very funny indeed... oh hahaha. and the Oscar goes to... LOTR. No Arguments.. it's romping home. Cinematography... Master and Commander. Adapted Screenplay next... The Coppolas are to present... "the only man and woman of these ages in hollywood not dating each other". it's 04:31am Here come Jackson, Walsh and Boyens. Rushed speeches all round. They're the happiest people in the world. And here's Spiderman, in the form of Toby Maguire... to introduce Seabiscuit as a best film nominee. Original Screenplay introduced by Mr and Mrs Tim Robbins. Fingers crossed for Lost In Translation...... and ..... it's won... Good on her.... easily the best original script of the last year and any other year I'd be rooting for her on Director and Film also. Dad looks terribly proud. Back to the awards for Best Director.. and Tom Cruise. Here we go... the most unsure award of the evening.... PETER JACKSON... there is justice :) So well deserved. 10 for 10. Great acceptance, he could have scrubbed up.. but then I suppose that's the charm of the New Zealand film maker... at least he's wearing full length trousers.... and shoes. ... Billy just stole that last line. Adrien Brody, to present pursumably best actress. Yup, As mentioned above I reckon this is a shoe in for Ms Theron but we'll see........ And she does.... Adrien Brody looks happy as he puckers up... A typically teary best actress acceptance speech, it wouldn't be the oscars without this... she thanked her lawyer.... and the whole of South Africa... that's some going. "SOB... and my MOM... I love you!" ... and I wanna thank God... and the paperboy and Billy Crystal.. She's off. Best Actor next.... after a break.... apparently Mr Ross gave Tom Cruise a nasal hair clipper last time they met... Ho Ho Ho... Johnathon you card. Here we go with the final chunk.... Actor and Film to come. KIDMAN! To present Best Actor.... Which goes to.... Sean Penn... I should have know really.... GRITTY... and it must be said, downright depressing... nevermind. Fair play to him, a humble speech with one misplaced political remark. Openly confessed that he has no witten remarks and therefore he's stumbled through his time on the stage with long pauses and a dull delivery.... rather appropriate for his performance. SPIELBERG and best film.... it's 05:04. LORD OF THE RINGS : RETURN OF THE KING! A cleansweep as THE BERG puts it... and half of middle earth take the stage. Barry Osbourne can talk... and talk.... and talk... Billy has finished up and brought on all the winners... it's 05:10. And that's all folks. I'm off to a full day's work in a couple of hours. You can find all the winners here... Winner's List |
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