"This is an online journal of my thoughts... A window into my soul. I want everyone who reads this to obtain a true and accurate view of my life." ... and so begins the next great phase of the 21st century. Legions of maladjusted people "blogging" online. First it was chatrooms, now it's chatrooms without the hassle of interacting with another human being. Before anyone bring's it up, I'm well aware of the apparent irony inherent in my posting a ranting piece on my website about other people who do the same... However, I'm not a blogger, and here's why... 5 Things I Hate About Blogging 1. Personal Details. Most bloggers see no problem with naming, or nearly naming, the people in thier personal life that they are writing about. I on the other hand write about people in the media who I will most likely never meet, or hope to meet for that matter. I can therefore say what I like without worrying about an embarrasing moment by the watercooler the next day. Blogger : Hi Boss, how's things? Boss : Fine thanks... By the way, I believe you called me "a pathetic waste of space who owns a BMW to make up for deficiencies in his trouser area" on your website last night... Blogger : I'll clear out my desk then Boss : You do that 2. Writing about your own pathetic existence. I don't want to read about what some blogger from texas had for thier lunch today. I don't mind social comment, I'm a big fan of hearing people's views on current affairs.. But auntie mary's operation can be saved for a dinnertime discussion with your mother. The world does not need to know. 3. Complaining. "I'm not paid enough" "My Neighbours Hate Me!" "My Wife ran off with the guy from next door who keeps Salmon in barrels in his garden." I'm not surprised. You're spending all your time complaining to your interaction free chatroom whilst the wife's next door tucking into the contents of a paticularly large barrel of fish. Cheer up for crying out loud. 4. A complete and total lack of personality. Come on folks, open up... Every blog I've read is the same old characterless rubbish. Let's have a ex-taliban leader or two blogging. 5. Over Punctuation...!?! STOP! USING! EXCLAMATION! MARKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and caps lock for that matter. In short... Blog Off.... d'ya see what I did there? Mike

This site and it's contents are the intelectual property of Mike Keenan and will be until he's long dead... and even then, he'll haunt you if you tell one of his jokes out of context... or if you even vaguely displease him... his afterlife is going to be rather busy.